something and nothing

Apparantley nicotine improves your memory. So did I make the wrong choice in quiting? Hummm Food for thought and yet another reason to keep smoking.

Apparantley nicotine improves your memory. So did I make the wrong choice in quiting? Hummm Food for thought and yet another reason to keep smoking.

Oh my god, I really hate my job, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!!!!! Arggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! Don't worry this isn't going to be one of those'I hate my job but I can't be bothered to do anything about it so I'll just complain all the time about it' thingys. I am proactivly looking and aplying and hoping that one day I'll get out of there.

I currently work in a bank, and when I first started I really ejoyed my job. The sales targets were atainable, I felt like I was helping people and it wasn't even that stresful. But now, the targets are rediculously high. And in the current financial climate, how am I supposed to get people to take out loans if our interest rates are high? Its not only high interest rates, the bank wont approve anyone for a loan. And on top of that, noone wants a loan because were heading for a recession, and everyone is tightening up their purse strings. But oh no thats no excuse, appartently we're supposed to pull customers out of thin are, or start to employ hard selling tact ticks, and start marketing customers who have oppted out of marketing.

Maybe I should become a whistle blower, shop them to the Financial Services Athority? No, I think I could sell them to the papers, make a quick buck. Probably not a good idea.

And another thing, I hate my manager, shes all 'I like a happy office, with everyone chatting' But only she can chat and laugh (redicullously loud), as soon as anyone else starts having a bit of fun, shes like 'why aren't you working, what are you doing, do this, do that....). She takes an hour and a half lunch breaks, books time off the day before, and goes home early cause shes got a kid in nursery and she has to pick her up. Fair enough, shes got a baby, but its doesn't cost her any extra, to leave the kid there an extra half an hour. Belive me I know, cause my friends got a baby in the same nursery. She doesn't do any work and spends alday on the internet looking at e-bay, and talking to her friends on the phone.

God I hate that woman, and its probably all over exagerrated by myself, cause its probably down to a personality clash. I'm big enough to admit that. See what a nice person I am. I'm so nice I tell her to her face, and heres the best thing, she thinks I'm joking! Hahaha the jokes on her. So now you know, that I'm not a two-faced back stabbing bitch. But I don't know what is worse, somone who tells you what they think of you, or blissfull igronance?

God it feels good to get that off my chest, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

So I'm looking for a new job, and that is why. I don't know what I wanna do. Ive only had two jobs in the last seven years, one lasting three the other I'm sadly still in. One was catering, and the other, well see above. I only have my GCSEs and three As levels. Didn't finish them cause I had the oppertunity to move in with my boyfriend, which envolved moving from Birmingham to Banbury, which I do not regret. I think should do an evening cousre. Yeah thats a good idea. I could better my career prospects though education, cause alot of the jobs I think I would be good at I haven't got the right qualifications.

Hell yeah, Im gonna doit, I'll google it and get a qualification. Hey, this blogging stuffs quite good. I get all the shit off my chest and get left with the good shit.

Well Im gonna go get an education, 'to the school bus!' so well yeah....

Ta Muchly

Yeah yeah...I know, I feel bad. But the point is I've tried, I'm still trying and I have cut down shit loads!!

Well enough of that, time to give you an insite to my life.

Today is Saturday, or was in five minutes, and generally I sleep in, wake upi about 12, tidy up and read a good book. Not today though, my mother was in town. And off course she is an early riser. So Iam up at the crack of dawn (8.30am), tiding up like mad, and hiding all evidence that I actually smoke. Sad I know, I'm 23 a fully grown adult and I still hide the fact I smoke like a school girl. Its just I don't want the whole 'I'm not angry I'm just disapointed' speach or the 'I quit so I could live longer to see my grandchildren' speech. So I plan to quit by the time she find out so I can do the 'You smoked I smoke but I quit following your example' speech.

So anyhoo, she arrived, but we had to go straight out to my work because the goddamn ATM machine broke, and obviously I'm the only one in the whole bank that can fix it. I shouldn't be so good at my job. Well I did get fifty quid for five minutes. Hey ho.

So we went shopping, called in on my boyfried who was working. Bought clothes, clothes being a loverly dress a size 10 whoo hooo!! Them salads I have been eating have realy paid off, but feel sorry for my boyfried and cat cause I can't stop farting and other stuff. That'll hopefully pass soon, or I will have to start eating the bad food again, as a service to my boyfriend and cat. A

te lunch, then she stayed until five. How many hours is that without a fag? (answers on a stamped addressed envelope please) Well it was a long time,and I didn't have any cravings, fantastic. But as soon as she leaves, the cravings come out, cause I can have one, cause its my own roof and while I live under my roof I live by my rules.

So tommorro, Im gonna sleep in until 12am, wake up, tidy up, read a book, and not have a fag until 6pm. This is my way of tricking myself in quiting eventually. Setting challenges where there are rewards will make it easier I think. And anyway its gotta be benificial to my health, the fewer cancer sticks I smoke the more likly it will be that I will see my grandchildren.

Ta Muchly

This is it I swear. Yes Im gonna do it this time and its gonna be great. Everyone will be sooo proud. I'll win awards and get a knighthood, can girls get a knighthood? Well what ever, this is it. You want to know what it is? Well here it is.......

I'm gonna quit smoking!!!

What no fan fare? No cheers from the masses? Ah well, Im gonna try my god damn best, to do it. The gum has been opened, and chewed. The will power has been turned up to the maximun will power level. And I feel.....I feel..... Ah shit I feel like a fag would go really well right now. No.....must.....resist......temptation......so yeah I have lit up, well Gordon BrowN doesn't want us to waste to waste food anymore, ciggeretts are the same, and I do have like ten left. Tomorro, yeah tomorro will be the day.

Will it kill me if I chew and smoke at the same time? Whoa massive nicotine rush!! Whoooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Stay tuned to find out if I really do quit, will it drive me mad, noone knows. Well apart from other people who have quit before, any tips would be welcome.

Ta Muchly

As from the title you may realise that I'm having a quandary. I smoke, I drink and I eat all the foods that your not supposed to. So why the hell do they feel and taste so good? (Now I'm no drug addict, well appart from the smoking, just so you all know I'm not some crazy crack head.)
Take smoking, it seriously harms your health and others around you. But I still do it, I hate that I do it but I also love it. So not only am I harming my self, leaving me open to all hell of cancers, I'm proactivly doing it to others! Does that make me a suicidal murderer? I just don't know.
But its so hard to quit, I'm sat here fag in hand, looking at the health warning thinking this is it, my last one I swear. I even bought a box of gum to help me quit. But the downside of that is the gum don't work on its own. No you need will power too. Will power!! I don't have enough of that to counter act my addiction gremlins.
Maybe if they make it illeagal, they've already banned it in public places, that would make me stop.(Them being the government. Imagine that, drug dealers selling ciggeretts instead of cocaine, on street corners. Nah never would happen. They'd never make it illeagal theres too much tax on it, they'd lose to much money,then the country would really fall into recession.
Look at me I'm justifing my addiction! Becasue I smoke the government get enough money the fund the failing NHS, there justified. I am a crack head!! I think I should just get hypnotised to stop smoking, or get some back bone, and quit gaddamn it!
I enjoy Guiness, and other bitters, I like to think of myself as a connoisseur of the great pint. No still no drinking problem, ok so my breafast involves a bowl full of Guiness, but I do not have a problem. The drink makes me able to function normally. And thats bad for you!?!
No seriously I don't even drink that much, but I probably drink enough to kill of a few brain cells and damage my liver.
Don't even get me started on junk food, ok so I got myself started but hey. Now, junk food that does taste good. Ok so Im in the shop and I have a choice, chocolate bar or apple. So I go for the fruit and nut chocolate bar, just as bad, but it has one of my five a day! Or possibly two, is a nut a fruit or vegetable? I know it niether haha. (my boyfriend just read it over my shoulder and corrected me) If they made junk food, actually taste like junk, then maybe the obesisty problem this country has, will go away. Then the companies will go out of business, there would be high unemployment, then the country would be in a recession, oh wait aren't we already in one? I'm going of on another tangent, I'll save that one for later...
So now Im gonna quit smoking, stop drinking and eat lots of fruit. Right now, (as she lights up, and eats a take away pizza, with a can of guiness), ok maybe tomorro, or maybe I'll do all the bad things in moderation....

Ta Muchly

What does Blog mean anyway? While Ive been thinking what to write for my first blog, I have been woundering what it means. Do the letters stand for somthing, like an acronym?, like:
B - is for Blue
L - is for Lemon
O - is for Orange
G - is for Grape

Yes my imagination is pretty weak, but I did google it, and I could find no acronyms for it. The age old question of, What is Blog?, maybe one of the great mysteries that will never be answered, like Why are we here? Why do bad things happen to good people? Whats the perfect way to make a cheese sandwich? and Who the hell invented crazey frog?
I guess I should stop over thinking this, and start writing some funny little anectdotes for people, if they so wish to read, but most of them you really have to be there to appricate.

Well on with the blog, I have been trying to write for hours, because I keep deleting it. Blog Blog Blog, look at me Im totally blogging! Woohoo!!

Today I woke up and realsied I am a grown up, what the hell do you do when your a grown up and you still dont know what to do when you grow up? Do start thinking about what you should do when you retire? Or just put all the careers your qualified to do in a hat and pick on at random? Maybe I should put my CV on here, get people to read it an choose for me. Thats probably a bad idea, it'll only make me look more stupid than I sound.

Well I have rambled on whittered on long enough, maybe I'll get my hat out and pick.

Ta Muchly